Live Chat? Not so sure...

So today we got the dreaded call. The car is done. As in bodyshop done. As in one who shall remain nameless had a little "incident" with a wall type done. $589 worth of done. So that of course meant shelling the bucks out of pocket, since there's a $500 deductible anyway, why raise your insurance rates?

So, they don't take checks, and there's a daily limit on our debit card. So I told my husband look, put it on the credit card. "Wait! Stop!" I said. "Let's check the interest rate first." Now, we have every intention of paying it before there is any interest, but we never really use the card so I had to absolutely know first. Once I had it in my head, there was no turning back.

Now hubby isn't what you'd call a techie. He and computers have this love-hate relationship. But he put his game face on, and went to venture into online banking land to look up the rate. We got through the log-in in record time, a mere 45 minutes. From there, piece of cake. He clicked on his card number, and went in search of an interest rate. I helped of course. He clicked here. He clicked there. He clicked up. He clicked down. To no avail, the rate was nowhere to be found.

So I lovingly suggested that he use the handy dandy "live chat" feature. "You can talk to a real person on line and just ask them where to find the rate," I told him.

So here, with limited interruption, is the transcript. Personal info has been hidden, but otherwise it is unedited. Well, mostly.

Chat Information
Welcome to Great Big Bank's text chat service. Your chat may be monitored and recorded for quality purposes. A text chat specialist will be with you momentarily.
(go ahead, play that jeopardy music in your head, it's going to be awhile. Did I say this was unedited?)

Chat Information
Welcome to your Great Big Bank. My name is Klanna. How may I help you with your Great Big Bank credit card today?
Klanna: Thank you for choosing Card Services. How may I provide you with Exceptional Service?
(I'm sensing a repetitive pattern here)
You (meaning hubby): where on line can i find the interest rate on my credit card
Klanna: I understand that you wish to know the interest rates of your credit card account.
Klanna: I will definitely check this for you.
Klanna: May I please have the last four digits of your account number?
You: xxxx
(and she needs this why?...but again, ask a simple question)
Klanna: Thank you for the information.
Klanna: Your account security is of prime importance to us, therefore, could you please confirm your Date of birth?
You: xxxxxxxxx
Klanna: Thank you for verifying the information. I appreciate your assistance in protecting your accounts integrity.
Klanna: Please allow me sometime while I access your account.
(there's that Jeopardy theme song again and is anyone noticing the poor English?)
Klanna: I appreciate your patience and time.
(Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Do....Do da do do do do do!)
Klanna: I am unable to locate your account by name and zip code. I need your help, could you please confirm your full SSN number or phone number which is listed on your credit card account.
You: here's the phone...xxxxxx i just want to know WHERE i can find the interest rate being charged. just tell me where to look please.
(ok, as you might suspect, by this time I'd kicked hubby out of the chair and had taken over the conversation)
Klanna: Thank you for the information.
(Tick tock Tick tock)
Klanna: One moment please.
(yeah. one moment)
Klanna: I appreciate your patience and time.
(patience is running thin here Rosanna Klanna Danna)
Klanna: After reviewing your account, I see that the interest rates of your account are xx% for Balance Transfer, xx% for Cash Advance and xx% for Purchases and these rates are variable.
You: I did not ask you for the rates, though thank you. I asked you where in online banking i can find them so next time I can check the current rate for myself while banking on line. Is that not an option?
Klanna: I apologize.
Klanna: This option is no longer available online since 02/13/2010.
Klanna: I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause to you.
(ARE YOU KIDDING ME?) 
 Klanna: Do you have any further questions regarding your credit card account? I will be glad to assist you further.
You: no.

Klanna: I do want to take the opportunity to thank you for being a valued Great Big Bank customer. We appreciate your business.
Klanna: Have a great day ahead.
Last text message received Klanna: Bye and Take care of yourself.

So. Real live chat with a human?  Exceptionally clever VRS with accelerated logic function? Or maybe an off-shore call center in say, oh, Southeast Asia?
You be the judge.

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