In the market...

So everyone who has ever been to a supermarket knows it's not an experience for the faint of heart. Seriously. In the 5 minutes it takes to run in for some ground beef and salad fixings...ok I exaggerate. In the 45 minutes it takes to run, ok, stroll, in for some pre-made patties and salad in a bag, you see all kinds of things. It's as if people think they have some cloak of invisibility the minute they walk in.

During today's adventure, I first had to maneuver around the elderly, and I do mean elderly, gentleman who stood next to the Grape display apparantly having his midday snack. I mean it's ok to sample before you buy. Even munch on a few as you stroll through the store. But this guy was literally eating them a handful at a time. His wife was too busy sampling the Berries to notice.

I ran into them again later at the banana display. No need to elaborate. I continued on at my frenzied pace to the butcher counter. Now those who know me also know I don't see so well. Never did. I've had glasses since I was 14. Notice I didn't say I've worn them. I just have them. So I'm standing in front of the butcher case looking at this display of what appears to be crab meat. Looked very much like what you get when you crack an Alaskan King Crab leg and the meat slides out. And the sign said King Crab. So I looked at the butcher, who for once didn't have 4 eyes and a rug on his head, and asked if this was really and truly king crab meat, for $4.99 a pound. He didn't answer me. Instead he looked at me like I was nuts. What happened to being polite and treating the customer as if they were always right even when they are absurdly wrong? So I looked at the sign again, and it seems I'd missed one little word. Imitation. And, yeah, it was in pretty big print. I laughed. He laughed. Said there was some crab in there, but mostly not. The woman next to me, who had been privvy to this whole conversation, then asked him for a pound of the Gen-You-Ine Crab...exclaiming how she couldn't believe how cheap it was. I moved on, headed for the bread.

But first coffee. I love the coffee aisle. It smells divine. I didn't need coffee, but that smell just lures me in. As you all probably are by now aware, Tea's not my thing. I start to head for my favorite brand, when a woman appears out of nowhere, blocking me. I figure she'll grab a bag and go. But no. She starts sampling the beans. Who does that? She's licking them and then placing them down in the run-off bin. I would have filmed it, but it would have grossed me out to watch it. I quickly grab my Godiva Breakfast Blend (yum) and go almost head first into the 3-year old on the floor with the cheerios. What is with shoppers who figure if they are going to end up paying for something they can eat it on the way to the checkout? Or better yet, plop your kid on the floor and keep him entertained. I suppose if I were 3 I'd have joined him.

Yet as crazy as it sounds, I love the whole experience. Where else can you find every form of human creature at their very worst but in a supermarket.

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