Guilty as charged.

Guilt is a really sucky thing to feel. Especially when it's a result of doing what has to be done. I need to sell my house, and I am running a facebook ad. One most of my friends will never see. Because i'm doing some very careful marketing. Keywords having nothing to do with buying a house. I mean really. This is facebook. And who wants to move to AZ? Well, Tea Partiers would love it here. So would the NRA. Or the Right Wing Conservatives and the Fox Noise viewers. There are millions of people who think Arizona is just a slice of heaven.

Well, they're welcome to it. I'm getting quite a few hits on my ad for my house. No bites yet, but we'll see. And thus we have the guilt. If any of these morons actually buy my house, there goes the neighborhood. And I like my neighbors. A lot. And it's not right to burden them with crappy, ignorant, narrow minded bigots for new neighbors. It's wrong on so many levels. But living here and raising a child here is also wrong. We've taught our children to see the quality of a person's character as their most important trait, not the color of their skin or degree of accent in their speech. We've taught them that knowledge is power. We've taught them that violence begets violence. And here we are living in a State that has demeaned the value of education. Enacted laws promoting racial profiling. And more laws allowing gun-toting idiots to start drinking earlier on Sundays so they can have more time for target-practice in our public parks. Duck and Cover takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

Then there's that guilt thing again. We're not the only ones suffering the ridiculous consequences of government gone wild. And running from a problem is never the solution. Especially when I leave family and friends behind to fight the good fight on their own. My husband is finally back on his feet and business is thriving. Not a good time to relocate and try to build up a client base all over again. I feel bad about that too. Guilt.

And yet, nothing is more important to me than my children. Nothing. My daughter announced at the age of 6 she wanted to be a doctor. That requires not only a good college, and getting into medical school, it requires a good basic primary eduction as well. And it's not looking too good for her to get one here. Take the teachers out of the classroom and see if your best and brightest can reach their potential. Not gonna happen. My oldest daughter found a good education, thousands of miles away... and I want her to have us nearby. Guilty. I know she has support. She has my sister and my cousin to help fill the gaps. Vacations and holidays and transportation... a little R&R... but still I feel guilty about the work they put in to help take care of her. We should be there for her.

I feel guilty that I am not waiting around to give things a chance to improve. But when the polls are out there telling me (perhaps erroneously) that the majority of Arizonan's support the new nazi immigration bill, and that the majority of Arizonan's won't pay a "penny" to save our schools, then I am not an Arizonan. I am a member of the minority. I am guilty of nothing more than being sane, intelligent and forward thinking. And I am taking my sane self back home to NY. Sure they're crazy too. But in a good way.

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