Escape from Arizona

It's starting to feel like we're trapped. Trapped in the desert with no way out. What was once a beautiful place to live and raise our kids has become a desolate, mean spirited place. Where people boast openly about being bigots. Brag about being cheap. Proudly wear their low moral character like a badge of honor.
Not my friends, of course. I choose them wisely. But it seems the "majority" here that keep skewing the polls actually exist.
I thought it was the media at first. Then I blamed faulty polls. But in all honesty I think it's safe to say Arizonans, for the most part, are just pretty bad people. The majority want all the "illegals" to leave. They love that word. Makes those who's visas have expired common criminals. Great.
This same majority doesn't want higher property taxes. They don't want any more taxes at all. They'd rather see our schools shut down. That'll teach those wasteful school administrators a lesson. Um yeah. And it teaches our kids what? NOTHING!
Mr. Arizona wants to be free to carry a gun in his sock. Or under his coat. And he doesn't want to have to learn how to use it or be checked out first. What if some dark night at 3 am he's in a back alley and confronted with a maniac with a gun? Um. Yeah. That's just his reflection in a window. Dumbass.
Ethnic Studies, a once highly touted program allowing people from a variety of cultural backgrounds to study their history, is now illegal. It incites radicalism apparently. Certainly don't want the kids to know how oppressed their ancestors were now do we.
And now of course, Governor Brewer has signed yet another absurd law. Now, before you pack that pistol and go hunting downtown, you can load up at your neighborhood bar just a little earlier in the day.
So a typical Arizona Sunday used to be get up at the crack of dawn, take a walk, go running, have some coffee on the patio in the cool shade. Then head out perhaps to an art fair, or a festival, maybe a concert or a movie. Take a hike in the canyon. So many possibilities. For those of faith, a little church time too.
Get up at the crack of dawn, take a walk down to the nearest bar (still can't drink and drive here, but it's coming soon.) Go staggering down the block and have another cup of ale in the cool shade of a delapitated palm. Stagger on out and take a hike in the canyon, maybe do a little "illegal" hunting with your concealed weapon. Hell, just deputize yourself and start rounding em up. And for those of faith, you can bring em to church before you throw em in jail.
So the For Sale sign sits in our yard, collecting dust. Reality is, noone will buy our house. Because who the hell in their right mind would move to Arizona. Best we can hope for is that the Tea Party will decide to colonize this once great state. If so, they can start with our house.

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