Red is the new Blue

I've been wearing the same damn blue clothes for years. T-shirts. Sweatshirts. Jackets. I look good in Blue. It fits. I feel smarter in Blue. However, it's time to brighten my wardrobe and my outlook, with Red. Why Red?

1. Red is a Rich, Loud color. And that gives me the look of the Rich and Loud.
2. I'm tired of blending in and just being one of many. I want to rise to to the top and set myself apart. I could try a new hairdo... like The Donald, but it wouldn't look good.
3. Red is a fabulous color. It just screams LOOK AT ME. It's Royal. It's top of the line. And, thus, I will be too.
4. It's a sign of being pure-blooded. No funny stuff inside. Primary color if you will. Untainted by logic or reason. Unsullied by empathy or even a conscience.
5. Financially it's an oxymoron. For those of us who wear blue, being in the red is not typically a good thing. Unless of course you are a Red. Like the Donald. Or a Bolshevik. Again the old oxymoron rears its head.
6. I love Oxymorons.
7. I just love Morons. I want to be one too.
8. I can say really really stupid things and people will listen. After all, I'm wearing Red.
9. I can vote anytime anywhere, with or without ID. As long as I vote for Red.
10. It's the first color in our flag. Red, then White, then Blue. As you see, wearing Blue is just a metaphor for last.

On the other hand, with armageddon just around the corner, maybe being last isn't all bad.


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