Round 1 elimination

It felt a bit odd, but necessary. Southwest Airlines is the first to go off air on my twitter account. Granted it's only been 2 days, and some might say I am being harsh. But their tweets are simply, well, boring. I have no room in my life for boring. Funny, sure. Like Ellen's cat photos. Now they are funny.  Interesting? Bring it on... like new releases from a favorite band.

Boring is something you put up with when you have an endgame. You put up with a boring professor because he never gives less than a B. You put up with a boring coworker because he or she happens to be a really organized and meticulous employee who saves your ass on a weekly basis.

You put up with boring relatives because, well, you have to. For so many reasons. Aunt Gretchen? Yeah, smells a little funny and repeats the same tragic story about her long lost almost boyfriend every thanksgiving. Usually starts about mid-carve through the turkey and finishes AFTER all that tryptophan kicks in and you just cannot listen to another word.

You'll put up with it until she meets her maker, or, finally gets married. So yeah, she'll be back next year.

Boring is something you tolerate waiting in an airport. It doesn't begin that way. When you are young, it's exciting. Especially the security gate. As you get older, not so much. And when you hit full grown adulthood, somewhere around 30, you figure out all the shortcuts, cut out all the adventure time, and end up in that gate area 3 miles from the bar and any sustenance. Just staring at the woman across from you who after awhile begins to look like someone you know. No! someone famous. No! Someone dead. Your mind is so tuned out it creates it's own entertainment. And yet, you have no choice. The plane's delayed. If you get up and head for that much needed martini, shaken not stirred, they'll announce boarding. So you stay put.

Boring is something you expect watching the state of the union. Or election night results. Unless you're a member of the nail-biting consortium. California. Arizona. Canada. Wisconsin. Florida. We know how to create some excitement in our democratic tomfoolery.

Boring is the consequence of finding out your dentist doesn't rotate the magazines more than every 2 years. And having refused to succumb to the e-reading phenomenon, you're stuck. Because if you've ever had your teeth cleaned, and I fervently hope you have, you know how hard it is to change an appointment.

Boring is your punishment for relying on critics to tell you what to buy a ticket for. Shame on you. You deserve 3 hours at the opera with "the voice of an angel" who unfortunately was reviewed by a critic wearing his earbuds and listening to the game during the whole performance.

So @southwest, I apologize. But I just cannot get excited about a plane landing in Newark. Unless Elvis is on it. Then you have something to Tweet about.  Now if you liked what you read, follow ME on twitter and I'll try not to bore you. @mjmej

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