Every Day should be Valentines Day
OK. So it's Valentine's Day. I'm not a big fan of Valentines Day. It's only fun when you're in a relationship, or just starting one. When you are 15 and you get nothing, it sucks. When you're 21 and get nothing...sucks even more.
Remember in Kindergarten, everyone got a valentine? And you gave one to everyone else in the class? Same for the first few years of school. Great tradition. But then, just when puberty sets in and you really need the boost, it stops. Suddenly your popularity is determined by the number of valentines you get. Girls...and boys...spend their teenage years hoping beyond hope that THIS Valentines Day, someone will pay attention. A secret admirer. A date to a dance. Just the rumor that someone is interested will do. But for so many, it's just a bust, year after year. There you sit, in front of that tearjerker chick flick on TV, hoping next year will be different. Or that the phone will ring at the last minute. How is it that we can allow the self-esteem of so many people to be dependent upon one ridiculous holiday?
I know women who date people over Valentines Day just so they'll have a date. Then they dump the poor sap. Guys who break up just before VDay, so they don't have to deal with pretending to be more involved then they are. And can avoid that dreadful word.....c-c-c-c-commitment!
And yet, though it's not my favorite holiday, I gave my husband a card, sent my daughters one as well. Even my mom. Just to let them know, in case they missed all the cues, that I do love them. Absolutely, unconditionally. And because everyone should get something on Valentines Day.
So I think every day should be Valentines Day. Every day is an opportunity to show someone, in some small way, that you care. Some people just love the hoopla. They like to feel special once in a while. So one day a year works for them. And I get that. I do. But particularly when you are in a relationship, shouldn't you have that every day? Shouldn't we all?
When my husband manages to get the plate all the way from the table to sink, and rinses it, I know I'm loved. When my daughter smiles at me and tells me about her day, I know I'm loved. When my mom stops by to drop off something she thinks I might be interested in, I know I'm loved. When my daughter sends me a two line text message from 2000 miles away? Yeah, I'm loved.
Then there's the stuff of life. Cat pukes? Hubby cleans it up. Toilet stopped up? Again, that's his job. Not because it's men's work. He does it because he loves me and knows I hate to do those things. Same reason I watched the doc stitch up his leg because he just can't stand the sight of needles. Someone had to make sure it was being done right!
This year, I got a gorgeous bouquet of roses. Really, they're beautiful and they smell good and I love them. But I'd have been good with just a card too. Because my husband typically buys the silly cartoon cards with the family of bears. Same cards my dad used to buy my mom. And I always knew how sweet those were. Silly, yeah, but he meant every word. And so does my husband. The thing is, I know he means it not because he buys me flowers on Valentine's Day. I know he means it because of all the other stuff he does every other day of the year. So for me, every day is Valentine's Day. As it should be. Enjoy them all.
Remember in Kindergarten, everyone got a valentine? And you gave one to everyone else in the class? Same for the first few years of school. Great tradition. But then, just when puberty sets in and you really need the boost, it stops. Suddenly your popularity is determined by the number of valentines you get. Girls...and boys...spend their teenage years hoping beyond hope that THIS Valentines Day, someone will pay attention. A secret admirer. A date to a dance. Just the rumor that someone is interested will do. But for so many, it's just a bust, year after year. There you sit, in front of that tearjerker chick flick on TV, hoping next year will be different. Or that the phone will ring at the last minute. How is it that we can allow the self-esteem of so many people to be dependent upon one ridiculous holiday?
I know women who date people over Valentines Day just so they'll have a date. Then they dump the poor sap. Guys who break up just before VDay, so they don't have to deal with pretending to be more involved then they are. And can avoid that dreadful word.....c-c-c-c-commitment!
And yet, though it's not my favorite holiday, I gave my husband a card, sent my daughters one as well. Even my mom. Just to let them know, in case they missed all the cues, that I do love them. Absolutely, unconditionally. And because everyone should get something on Valentines Day.
So I think every day should be Valentines Day. Every day is an opportunity to show someone, in some small way, that you care. Some people just love the hoopla. They like to feel special once in a while. So one day a year works for them. And I get that. I do. But particularly when you are in a relationship, shouldn't you have that every day? Shouldn't we all?
When my husband manages to get the plate all the way from the table to sink, and rinses it, I know I'm loved. When my daughter smiles at me and tells me about her day, I know I'm loved. When my mom stops by to drop off something she thinks I might be interested in, I know I'm loved. When my daughter sends me a two line text message from 2000 miles away? Yeah, I'm loved.
Then there's the stuff of life. Cat pukes? Hubby cleans it up. Toilet stopped up? Again, that's his job. Not because it's men's work. He does it because he loves me and knows I hate to do those things. Same reason I watched the doc stitch up his leg because he just can't stand the sight of needles. Someone had to make sure it was being done right!
This year, I got a gorgeous bouquet of roses. Really, they're beautiful and they smell good and I love them. But I'd have been good with just a card too. Because my husband typically buys the silly cartoon cards with the family of bears. Same cards my dad used to buy my mom. And I always knew how sweet those were. Silly, yeah, but he meant every word. And so does my husband. The thing is, I know he means it not because he buys me flowers on Valentine's Day. I know he means it because of all the other stuff he does every other day of the year. So for me, every day is Valentine's Day. As it should be. Enjoy them all.
Amen! Perhaps getting older has, in fact, changed me. I used to feel the crush of Valentine's Day when I wasn't in a relationship.(Not that many of the ones I was in a relationship for proved worthwhile.) Now it is a chance to take stock of and pay attention to all those other loving things that happen all year long. They may not be pink or heart-shaped, but they are brimming with love! Pink and heart-shaped pales by comparison.
ReplyDelete~Beth
Probably your best blog to date! I really enjoyed this one, how true it is! Love you, Doug
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