Hands off my Happy Holidays!!!!

The following rant may offend some folks. Ooops. Sorry. But try taking it in the spirit in which it's written and you may just appreciate some of the irony. Maybe not.

Here it comes... last chance to stop reading.

Ok all you "It's Merry Christmas" not happy holidays people. Posting your signs on Facebook declaring it's CHRISTMAS. Or that you will express whatever greeting suits YOU. That's fine for you isn't it. Because it seems the holidays must be all about YOU. It isn't very generous of spirit now is it.

Nope, not so much.

Better think this through. CHANNUKAH STARTS TONIGHT.
So no, it's not Merry Christmas this week. Not even next week. Right now, we're going with Happy Holidays. Because we aren't exclusionary. And of course Channukah is followed quickly by the Winter Solstice (you know, the whole tree thing) and then Christmas which is quickly followed by Kwanzaa, then Mawlid-al-Nabi (Mohammad's birthday) in January as well. I don't claim to know ALL the holidays celebrated at this time of year, so consider this the tip of the iceberg.

I feel this urgent need to remind you that if you keep posting your negative remarks about our universally accepted multicultural Happy Holidays, you will not be exemplifying the Holiday spirit you so often crow about. You'll just be eating crow. I imagine those of you in this predicament have eaten it before. Probably on election day.

So. Do you become annoyed when someone says Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas? Damn right you say? Well, then I'm talking to you here.

Do you find it offensive that next to a Public Christmas Tree there is a Menorah? Do you think that Christmas Day should occupy the entire Winter Season? Dominate if you will?

You've already extended to the 12 days of Christmas. Really, was he born 12 times?

Let's not forget he wasn't born on December 25. Technically, not his birthday. Who? Jesus. Yes, I do believe Jesus was real. A real prophet, rabbi, teacher, JEW. Lot's of monikers. So every year you all get bent of shape when we, the Jews, some of whom have seemingly been losing our religion, steal your holiday. Celebrating the birth of OUR brother of another time. Get a grip. We take everyone's holidays.   Life is a celebration.

You think you own miracles. (Which, if you are a believer, you need to give that up... since they have no rhyme or reason, no science no proof... you can't perform them so hand em back to you know who)

You think you own Santa Claus (kind of sick since he too was real... in another time and place). He gave shoes. Not iPads. Comfort. Not Southern Comfort.

You think you own the Tree. It's a pagan winter solstice tree. Hang as many crosses as you like on it it's still a pagan winter solstice tree. You all know that. You just have this insatiable need to do everything possible to make the holiday yours. Oh and don't get me started on the Christmas candles. Don't even go there. Suffice to say... not yours. And those 12 days? Why, cause the Jews had 8? Ramadan is a month? Well heck the Pagans pretty much celebrated everyday so who's counting?

Life is a celebration.

If you want to OWN a holiday, go ahead. It's one day. Take it it's yours. I'll happily wish you Merry Christmas.  My family celebrates a variety of holidays this season, we're a blend of it all. The Tree, The Menorah, Handel's Messiah... Bing Crosby and his White Christmas. the irreverent sounds of the Maccabeats.  and my own personal favorite, Here Comes Channukah. We deck the halls and light candles and invite our friends and family to a holiday party. We have a potluck... no rules, bring your traditional favorite for whatever holiday you choose. It's called acceptance. And we even include (stage whisper here) the atheists so they can celebrate too.

Why? Why all this inclusion? Why not? Are you so selfish you hate the fact that others have reasons for joy?

Life is a celebration.

Do us all a favor and start practicing those two little words...Happy Holidays. Not because you are giving up your own... because you are respecting someone else's! You might find yourself actually appreciating the synergy of celebrating with others. It's mood-lifting. It's a scrooge-fighting powerhouse of vocabulary wizadry. Use it.


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