And the lord spoke. And said to me...

Mary, the voice said, someone needs your help. "Who?" I called out, not able to pinpoint the source of the command. "Little Amy Hobnacker," came the echoing reply.

So I frantically googled her, called my friends, sent out tweets, and tried to find little Amy who needs my help. I was unsuccessful. But because the lord commanded I help, I am setting out to do just that. However, and this is important folks,  I'm going to need all of your help. Every last human being within reach of this blog has to step up to the plate.

The goal? I'm not sure but I'm thinking it will require extraordinary resources and powerful connections. And that can mean only one thing. I need to run for office.

Which office? Hell if I know. I'm guessing it's going to have to involve some major players, so at the very least, probably Senator. From Arizona. How hard can that be? There's an empty seat coming our way after all. And in the land of ludicrous, where the GOP is raffling off a weapon creepily similar to that which was used in the January 8th horrific Tucson Tragedy.... I stand as good a chance as anyone. Just ask Jon Kyl. He got elected. He's quitting now. Probably is worried about being gunned down with that raffled off Glock.

So how can I help young Amy in her time of need by becoming a Senator? It's yet to be determined, but we all know that if it's God's will, I'll be elected. And with God's support, I'll make sure little Amy gets everything she needs to get through this crisis.

So I'm asking for your vote here and now. And your money too. Remember, this isn't my decision. It's God's. God has commanded me to act and act now.

And I heard from the Lord again last night. "Put down the Tequila Mary. Drop the worm. This is important. You must convince your neighbors and friends. You must influence your favorite PAC."
  Click here if you haven't found one yet.
"You must win the hearts and minds of all Arizonans so that my will can be done."

So hear me all those who consider themselves the faithful and truly have the Lord in their hearts.... and not one of those phony lords with a lower case l out there that everyone tries to claim is the one and only. I'm talking the real mccoy. The one whose voice can penetrate only the thickest of skulls. There is a fellow follower who needs you now. So call me. Tweet me. FB me. Send me your good wishes, your prayers and your spare change. And together, perhaps we can all work towards a common goal.

Saving Amy Hobnacker.

My name is Mary Miller, and because I too have voices in my head, I'm running for Senator.


Popular posts from this blog

Rich Chocolate Gluten Free Cake that's Deliciously low in carbs

Look out KFC, there's a new chicken in town

Lemon Meringue Pie