Just because

Did you ever want to just tell someone they are important? You know just because? Not because they are an extraordinary, heroic, super-smart, multi-tasking, brave, adventurous, talented hero. But because they simply are who they are.

I admit, I am the jealous, envious, green monster type. I hear about how great other people are, or their kids, or their friends, and I want to puke. Seriously. There. I said it. Sue me.

So how come I am such an internal toad? Because there are so many people in this world who live their lives in a seemingly ordinary way, yet by every measure they are the ones we should be acknowledging. The ones who get up at 4am and go to work at the coffee shop. Or behind the wheel of an OTR Semi. Maybe just get up and take care of their kids.

See it's not what they do. It's how it's done. The one who greets you at the coffee shop with a smile and a coffee exactly how you like it? They just set the tone for your day. They made you feel important, if only for a moment. They did something extraordinary.

The grocery store clerk who you've been chatting with for the last 10 years. The one who didn't mind holding up the line to change out that leaking milk container. Who knew you'd just had surgery and made sure that the bagger took your stuff to the car. Little tiny seemingly inconsequential acts that made your day a bit better.

We live in a society driven by money. The more you have, obviously the smarter you are, or the more talented you are, either that or you're a crook. And these are the people we celebrate, talk about, idolize.

Yet the nicest people I know don't have all that much. Not because they don't want it. But because being nice does not necessarily make you rich. And at some point in our lives, we all make that decision. Money, or character. Yes, all of us. You go to a garage sale. And haggle over a doll that's seen better days. As long as you come away paying less than they wanted for it, you're a winner. Did it matter whether the garage sale was actually a fundraiser for their father's surgery? Did you notice there was always someone in the crowd simply paying what was asked, no haggling, and feeling good about it? Did you think they were amateurs?

And what bugs me most are those who have some sort of internal ignore button. Sure the commercials featuring the old FB ignore friend requests are funny. But in reality, I know a zillion people who do it. They see you coming down the sidewalk and cross the street to avoid saying hello. They get your email, read it, laugh, cry, snort...and move on. No reply. They hear your son got a job, but don't bother to congratulate you. They see you're online and turn their status to away. Not because they don't like you. It's not deliberate. Which is what makes it so freaking nasty. They just feel above it all. All those niceties and daily courtesies and how do you do's aren't worth their time. Nothing to gain for them. They don't need your friendship to help elevate them in life. So therefore, they don't need to foster it.

It's like high school for the AARP crowd. And it disgusts me. And their own inflated sense of self is just absurd. I have an incredibly diverse set of friends and acquaintances. Some just starting out in life, others hugely successful. Seriously successful. And what they all have in common is their innate sense of right and wrong, and more importantly, a sense of goodness. Or so I thought. Maybe not all of them deserve such a compliment.

We tried an experiment on the 4th of July. I was exhausted, still not 100% since my surgery a few months ago, but getting there. And I was tired of entertaining. I love our new house, we always wanted a gathering place for friends and family. But I was just plain tired. So I didn't plan anything. Didn't call anyone. Didn't send out the carrier pigeon with invites. Didn't even invite my mother. We figured this year we'll go to someone else's barbecue. Now the night before, at the last minute we did have a fun night next door just relaxing, a little grilling, some good conversation. Impromptu and enjoyable. As always. Because our next door neighbors fall into the former category of genuinely good people. But on the 4th? Well, nothing. Not only did no one invite us anywhere, but no one asked what we were doing either.

And last night a huge storm blew through. Lost our beautiful tree out front. Looks like lightning. The whole neighborhood seemed to be hit pretty hard. And this morning, there was hubby with a 6 inch handsaw, ok, maybe a foot, trying to remove all the debri and fix things. By himself. It's not like we expected everyone to run over this morning with their power tools to help. Or call and ask hey, need a hand? But it would have been nice. Just seems like they all had their internal ignore button on.

I'm just sayin.

Popular posts from this blog

Rich Chocolate Gluten Free Cake that's Deliciously low in carbs

Look out KFC, there's a new chicken in town

Lemon Meringue Pie