In 48 hours

News flash: The rapture will take place in the Bermuda Triangle. Exact latitude and longitude to remain a mystery. You can leave all your worldly goods with me and I will make sure that the most deserving among us finally get their slice of heaven too.

I have to say, those who are awaiting judgement day to arrive this Saturday aren't doing at all what I would have expected. You see personally, I would be spending my time ensuring that I have in fact made the world a better place. Then I would be loaded up on the mother ship and taken to a better place. Because I deserved it. Though I would probably go with much regret. The earth is my home. My space. And I kind of like it here. But I've lived a good life, always tried to do the right thing and so I'm pretty damn sure that if Saturday is the day, I'm moving on up.

But the Rapturites are a different breed. They are "getting ready for the judgement day" by doing every possible thing they can to impress the great one from beyond. And just how will they impress the overlord?

By spending their retirement funds on a week in Cyprus. By spending their kids college funds on a Lexus. By giving the rest to Mr. Doomsday himself. Or, simply stop paying any bills. Seriously... everyone knows that bill collectors don't live upstairs. So my view is quite simple. Maybe Saturday is the day. Really. Maybe on Sunday we wake up and all those pesky end-timers are gone. Poof. All's that's left is the Armani suit they bought for their special day. And maybe a few Coach bags. And we all walk out our front doors on Sunday with huge smiles thinking yes, judgement day has come and gone and what's left is only the good.

Now we can get to work and reduce global warming. Disarm the despots. Provide healthcare to the sick. Build homes for the poor. Create jobs for the willing. Basically make the world a better place. Oh wait. That's probably what the great one from beyond had in mind all along.

Bottom line. I don't know who created this miraculous orb, but I have to figure whoever it was is a whole lot smarter than we are. So no sense in trying to be clever or prepared. If Saturday's the day, and the lunatics are right, then the good ones are taking that elevator on up. I'm good. So basically I'm not worried. My hubby's good. Our kid's are good. All's good. If the lunatics are wrong, and we good ones stay, maybe the mother ship loads 'em up and takes them to the Milky Way's version of Siberia.

Best advice is to just live each day for itself. Do something positive. And quit worrying about the end. It is what it is. But just in case, does anyone know if chocolate is permitted beyond the pearly gates?

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