House Hunters never saw one like this

As i've mentioned a time or two, I love HGTV. I love House Hunters. And House Hunters International. And My First Place. And I love the virtual house hunt online. Since I don't have the luxury of simply flying here and there to search for the perfect homestead, I rely on my Mac to guide me. I use every tool at my disposal online. 


It's fun and it's educational. I've been so many places without ever leaving my chair. A couch potato's dream come true.


So I cannot begin to say how excited I was the other day when I came across a house for sale with everything I needed. Fit all our criteria. I was so ready to take that virtual tour. 


On paper this place had everything. Square footage. Fireplace in the living room. Another one downstairs. Large screened porch. Gorgeous backyard. Finished Basement. And the all important oversized double garage. Of course my level of excitement began to wind down just a tad as I scrolled through the big bright beautiful color snapshots. I mean they are really pushing the envelope with the "sold as is" clause here.


One word. eeew. Sorry I can't do better, even with google. The current owners of this lovely home obviously have been occupying the place for years. I'm guessing they probably bought it new. 40 years ago. And decorated it themselves. Seems no one told them it's 2010. Console TV with an actual dial channel changer? A bit outdated. Plywood kitchen cupboards. Complemented by Olive Green Appliances. And bathroom tile to match. Remember the old chrome faucets that look like wheels? They look great in a vintage victorian, but in a 69 faux colonial? I don't think so.


Now I love a good old house. As in good bones. Architectural detail. Gables. But Green shag carpeting? Laminate wall paneling? Formica? Sorry. I would rather have an empty structure, head to home depot and wait for HGTV's home crasher to find me than even consider spending one night in this place. This place was right out of Property Ladder. or Flip This House!


I'm willing to compromise. Really. I don't need granite counters or Travertine tile. I don't need a whirlpool tub. I don't need stainless appliances, though I prefer the energy efficient ones. On the flip side, I don't need to dwell in the land of the Brady Bunch meets Mayberry RFD. I would have nightmares where I open my accordian closet doors to find bell-bottom hip huggers and platform sandals. And a blacklight poster of Bobby Sherman.


Look. I know how it goes. If the price is right and the location perfect, something has to give. But it just isn't going to be me. So on with the hunt. Suggestions welcome.

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